1 Sip: Take 1 sip for every one of Ray Lewis' tears.
2 Sips: For every mention of Colin Kaepernick's tattoos.
2 Sips: Any time Joe Flacco's unibrow makes an appearance.
3 Sips: Any use of the phrase "Bro Bowl" or "HarBowl" or some other of the myriad of ways the NFL will remind us of how neat it is that brothers are coaching against each other in the Super Bowl.
4 Sips: For every Jim Harbaugh face or freak out. Add a bonus swig if he does that little child stomp.
4 Sips: If When Ed Reed gets an interception. There. I said something nice about the Ravens.
1 Swig: For every beer commercial.
1 Swig: For every commercial with a baby or scantily clad woman. Drink all the way through the Go-Daddy ads.
2 Swigs: For every celebrity sighting. Commercials count, but "celebrity" is left to your discretion.
3 Swigs: For every shot of Mr. and Mrs. Harbaugh. Because their sons are coaching! Against each other! In the Super Bowl!
4 Swigs: If there is a camera shot where Terrell Suggs actually has his mouth closed.
Slam Your Drink: If Beyonce has a "wardrobe malfunction," then thank your lucky stars you weren't watching the Puppy Bowl.
Slam Your Drink: If the announcers mention any player in a negative light for off-the-field behavior. Don't worry, they won't. No one wants to keep their head on a swivel for a flying soap dispenser.
Slam Your Drink: If one of the announcers, players or coaches audibly swears and they have to awkwardly cut away.
Any video package of New Orleans. Bourbon St! Jazz! Mardi Gras!
Any Ray Lewis dance.
Any split-screen shot of the Harbaugh Brothers. Because they're related, you see.
You laugh at a GEICO Caveman commercial.
Enjoy the game responsibly!